Musings of a teenage soul

Nothing compares to the long standing body ache, pine for books yet an inexplicable repulsion that send your mind and body looping like a boomerang back and forth, when finals are due. I get up, brush my teeth and make some coffee.

The recurring tring of the neighbour’s alarm, sets the silent morning atmosphere into a constant reminder of having to read. Reading, writing, somehow trying to put it all together. What really makes you a person? The thought rushed through my mind, if but for a second. I give myself an inward glare. I had a motto to follow
“Roll with it, don’t think about it too much”.
And I have a goal in life. One I’ve had all my life, actually. And finally, I’m getting on track to outrun myself and catch hold of that sweet success.

So what is my goal?
My goal is to be a person who isn’t afraid.
So who isn’t afraid? What accolades do we need to finally be able to say/do what we should say/do anyway but can’t because we’re insecure of our imperfections? What does it take to change the world?

Does it take that burning urge to correct all that’s wrong with yourself first and then gearing into position to change the surrounding atmosphere? Does it take a Harvard degree to prove your potential?  Could it be as simple as a completely clean room? Maybe a few musical talents? A-line grades? Reducing weight?

There are things we always want to do, yet do not end up doing simply because we gel into ruts of daily life and society where courage is not an everyday requirement.
We, whether fortunately or unfortunately let fortune alone decide, live our lives without everyday struggle. Therefore, we lose track of what is important to us and what is not. We sway and amalgamate with the minds and thoughts of all those around us and soon we start to live together in an interconnected mindblur that is termed today as society.
A mindblur it is. And it will cloud all your originality away. Slowly, you forget about the things you wanted to do and become complacent. At one point, the gandhian philosophy of your inner mind would keep at the back an image of the starving masses, as you ate your every meal. But as you enter the mindblur, all fades away. You stuff yourself left right and centre, just because everyone else is.
Oh, the infection.

The deeper it sucks you, the harder it gets. You don’t have to be a gandhian, or a supporter of modern day society or anything else I’m giving examples of. You have to be, just, you. Because at the end of the day, it’s all that this world needs.

Lifting the curtains after falling through the whole drill can be daunting. If everyone’s ordering a pizza, why should I not do it? Not like there’s anything wrong with eating a pizza. And so comes out the wallet and the odd hundred rupee notes.
And there isn’t anything wrong with eating a pizza. Gone and digested, not once do we bother to think about why the child of a laborer must be made to sleep with the satisfaction of a few parle-gs.
Exactly where, in the whole mind-blur do we accommodate them?
Suddenly the entire meshwork formed by people affecting each other, take an ugly turn and swerves past certain groups of mesh, leaving them unwanted and uncared for. Striated society.

Some give themselves satisfaction in saying they work for what they get, thus giving rise to the notion, if you don’t work, you deserve what you get. If one implies that the amount of work is proportional to the amount is comfort you deserve then they would gladly support all the economic differences which exist today, making up strata of the mindblur. Rise of terms such as masses, minorities, majorities and groups.

Does anyone else see the gaping hole of humanity in the above paragraph? I don’t support socialism, communism or any form of politics, but I still believe in my gut feeling of equality. And I still believe that if there’s one platform, where we all should come together, apart from the pizza slumber parties, it is progress.

If today, eating a home-cooked/ mess-cooked simple meal is saving up enough money for you to plan your way of giving back to society, in a way more innovative than distributing parle-gs, then maybe that simple meal is worth giving up the cheesy goodness of a pizza for.
If learning a musical talent is what may set your mind right and maybe a few others’ too, and help make a better world for everyone to be a part of, then perhaps it’s the better option than spending days lazing around at the neighborhood café.
If getting A-grades helps form a core for better endeavors of achieving equality in the future, then pursue it!

And most significantly, if it takes the load off your conscience and eliminates your insecurities and fears, and makes you, YOU. Get to it.


Because right at the end of this tunnel of experiences and situations, you’ll want to look back and know that your inherent, inborn purpose here is fulfilled. So despite spending a considerable amount of time, writing this while I should be setting myself free from the burdens of the mindblur, I will get back and continue with it, because hindrances may waver me from my motto awhile, but I know deep within, that I just gotta roll with it. 

Simple Plan

" Procrastination, running circles in my head...while you sit there contemplating, you're wound up left for dead. Life is what happens while you're busy making your excuses. Another day, another casualty. "
- Simple Plan                       

People. Fate. Attitude.

Today, I quote a band rather unusual for my taste. And furthermore, I attempt to write about something I believe to never have understood! People.
I'm going to start with an important lesson my best friend taught me, back in school, i.e.  'No two people are the same'

Yes, we do segregate everyone, putting different tags on them, no matter how non-judgmental we may say we are, truth remains that humans being social animals, do build a society, in it creating various tiers. As we move along our own ways, we create shelves of files, cataloging each trait, each person, albeit unconsciously.

This way, societies create collective perceptions which are animatedly discussed and passed down generations. Certain general norms are set. Like 'to wear yellow pants is odd' among many others. These are important. They help one to face the diverse world, for it is easier to be able to think about it in a prescribed manner. The issue pops up, when a person forgets to be mad. Yes, mad refers to behavior not approved  by society. Not necessarily harmful. Because its important to know that life is not that easily understandable. No matter how many little post-its you stick on it or how much of it you can explain to yourself on basis of logic or pre-conceptions, its always going to leave you in a riddle. That's a statement I will stand by, through thick and thin.

So, when you forget to be mad, you learn to judge yourself just the way you've been judging everyone around you. You measure yourself in that graduated beaker of societal perceptions and mark out your potential with a neat red line. You reduce yourself to what you understand. You tell yourself what you can do and what you can't. And the usage of the word 'reduce' is deliberate, because the moment you start to think that you've worked hard enough and have learnt enough to place yourself on a level, you stagnate. For want of a crude word, you rot. It is imperative to note that the above occurrences are followed by the formation of an ego. It is but natural. If you've given yourself the power of chalking out your possibilities for yourself, you might as well give yourself a crown saying 'King of the Universe'.

But this ego grows harsh and bitter, placing other people as superior and inferior, it turns hostile to our inherent happiness, which relies upon the noble notions of equality and harmony. The path from here on, is rather sketchy. For you chose to draw it yourself.


I'm not suggesting everybody leave everything to fate and stop judging and testing themselves and others. I don't wish for a Madman's World! No, if a life with fixed parameters is what we need for survival today, so be it. But just once in a while, put on those yellow pants and walk in the streets with an idiotic grin on your face. I tell you,its the only way to remain sane.

Of truth and lies and The Great Demise

Society. Co-existence. Community.

I'm not writing to trigger a massive 'change' that will set the world right back on its feet. Nor am I writing to vent off my frustrated teen peevishness on the evergreen woes of modern life, such as the words above may imply. No, I'm not quite sure why I wrote those particular words to be honest, but as I aimlessly wander into my first 'blog', I'm bereft of any rationality whatsoever.As some might say, perfect.

Trial period has expired for things other than just my 'Express-rip version1' tonight. A new beginning.
Maybe not for you. Or maybe you just haven't thought closely yet.

The week has been eventful, colorful. I have experienced hues ranging from a delicately soft purple to a strong violent red. As greeted worldwide with much anticipation and oohs and aahs, the wedding of Catherine and William was certainly the pastel tone of purple you caught me referring to. The elegance, the subtle romance, peppered with displays of grandeur and valour- an effort to create that fairytale fantasy associated with the royalty.
But trial period, has expired. The moment's over, here is your platter of responsibilities.

The Anna Hazare movement back in India, which garnered the massive support of the people, with several thousands willing to fast in a pledge to dissolve the sticky web of corruption, shook the government and saw the formation of the Lokpal Bill Committee. In the heat of the moment, one look upon the resolute face of the 73 year old social activist caused a stir within every individual, duty for the country made its presence felt, if only for that moment.
About a month later, we have the All India Engineering Entrance Exam paper being leaked out and sold. One could blame the exploding population making it harder and harder to clinch a seat, giving way to unfair means. Or one could say that the current value system is a fail. Either way, fellow citizens, trial period is over. Choose your path.

The people around me tell me my time to 'face the real world' has arrived.
Its time to get out of school and into college, grow up, fix a future, take on challenges, handle independence, stretch your boundaries, be on your tippytoes. Is it because my trial period just ended? or because there will be a massive change in my environment requiring me to adapt and gel in into yet another rut. Some lives seem to be like series of ruts, but none really are. Its because of the ever-changing nature of our surroundings that we create patterns, to bring in constancy. What we don't realize is, whenever change occurs, yeah, your trial period ran out. Be ready for something bigger.

And of course, I end with referring to another worldwide conjuncture. The death that brought smiles to many faces. The Alma mater of the 9/11 attacks, killed in Pakistan by a troop of valiant American soldiers after an intense 40 minute encounter. Yes, some people are still frowning at the second line of this paragraph. No, I am not trying to preach about life, death, happiness or ethics. Nor in any way trying to show those, for whom, this is justice meted out for the sufferings and losses they faced in the various attacks this man conducted, in a bad light. 


No, I am only placing an un-opinionated observation in front of the readers. Read and infer.


Because, much like the wedding excitement of William and Catherine, the blood-boiling rush of anti-corruption, the carefree life of a languid teenager and the fear of Osama that had gripped the world for a decade, Your trial period has terminated.