All

The force of life hits me with full force, like a splash of pipe water while playing in a garden! 

I've been caught by this almost epileptic surge for artistic expression. The kind that makes you want to dance and get lost in the music, paint a canvas or just get lost in a museum. Made me pick up my phone and experience yet another first,which is to write an article from a smartphone.

Yeah, yeah, makes me feel a bit pathetic, but its all about creativity. It's about throwing all preconceived knowledge and cynicism in the trash and enthusiastically type on this tiny beautiful touch screen!

I want to lift the garbs and veils of pseudo-artsy-intellectual off of me, they get too heavy for my heart!

That constant chatter of the cynical brain, telling me my last sentence sounded like it's out of a perennial pop song. 

But I'm going to drown out this chatter with Taylor Swift and Nicki Minaj and Ellie Goulding until it stops making me unhappy. (Read, until I have memorised the words to shake it off better than my ATM pin ;P ) (yes that was a smiley)

Yes, I fall for the sad music in movies they play specifically to make the audience feel bad and cry. Yes I boo boo talk with my boyfriend. And yeah! I also enjoy reading about politics and mystery novels and serious writing. 

But being someone who's taken seriously has made me taunt myself for every goofy thing I like! 

I can hear myself cringe at every exclamation mark. But I'm going to stop and enjoy and accept that there is nothing wrong with having so many aspects to ones personality. And as for the cringes, 

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Take that! Cynical voice of my brain)

But all of this isn't just bubble wrap and writing like Meg Cabot. No, I strongly feel it is moments like these, where one learns not to judge and hate, where creativity really comes to life.

I feel like dancing so soulfully, singing with a beautiful orchestra and choir, writing a novel, spattering drops of paint all over everywhere. 

And for all of this, I have only love to thank for. Sometimes we forget to love ourselves. We become nagging and negative. Hide our real self away, keeping it safe where noone can see it.

And its those around us that fill in the gaps by loving us so much that we never feel unloved, we just close our eyes and unclench our muscles. Pure love flowing through veins, flowing out of our palms, of our dancing feet, through our lips and hair ends and body and spirit to those who love us. 

And as for the connundrum of self and other. Whether we are really capable of love,

Or if it is just the chemical cocktail swirling high into our consciousness.

 

My answer?

Love has no boundaries and no self, it finds a way to creep into logic and as far as my experience goes, I couldn't put it in better words than Bob Dylan did, You can't be wise and in love at the same time.

I can drown in the deep blue sea with my laughter echoing in the skies holding his hand! (Almost have! Might I add)

I can stay up a million nights just to watch him sleep. And there is nothing I won't do, to protect him. 

And no matter how many bickers and snarky conversations, the scene of swimming Bangalore nightlights over his shoulder while we waltzed, ever so slow will always be printed on the back of my eyelids. 

I am thankful to God and every superpower that there may be out there in the universe for blessing me with all kinds of love. With a sister so loving, that every time I think of her I can suddenly smell rainwater on the dry road and dogs and aaloo tamatar. With a father who has managed to create an entire ecosystem with his gardening, single handedly feeding bees, birds, squirrels and dogs alike. And a mother who has accomplished the largest fan base this world has seen since Harry Potter. Every word out of her mouth could be in a gray covered quote book, every quip forever etched in my memory. All this love lets us be, even if there's cynicism and strife. It lets us cut loose threads of preconception and prejudice off our brilliant blue coat of gentle flowing love.